With this ring…

Sahtiya, of all the reasons I could talk about for us being here, for asking to marry you, the simplest is love. “I love you. I always have. I want to marry you.” I love this line not just because I do a terrible impersonation of Mel Gibson’s Braveheart Scottish accent, and not just because it’s super appropriate with Andrew wearing a kilt. I like this line because it’s silly (let’s be honest) and because it makes you laugh and smile so wonderfully. But also I like it because, from the moment I met you, my feelings for you started to grow, to deepen, to pervade me. With you I feel every way in which everybody who knows you and loves you does: for your wide and deep intellect, for your openness and warmth, for your curiosity and silliness and for your fully embodied beauty.

What everyone doesn’t know is that you make me feel safe in being vulnerable, you believe in me deeply, you share with me a predilection for boundless personal growth and you inspire in me an infectious joy for life. It’s almost enough to make me feel greedy about wanting to spend every moment with you, until I remember that we met 12 years after we could have.

We joke that we missed 12 years of knowing each other because it’s just been so absurdly fun and so obviously life-changing. What an amazing experience it’s been to discover your whole self. I am so looking forward to deeply engaging in our love for the rest of our lives, and to each day and moment we cover to get there.


Alaric, from the very beginning, I knew I had met someone I could spend the rest of my life talking with. You challenge me completely, make me laugh hysterically and I love you absolutely. You are everything I ever thought I wanted in one person and more importantly, everything I need but didn’t know existed.

You magnify the best parts of me and call me out on my worst. You make me feel safe enough to be my truest self and to dream my boldest future; come what may, I know that I will be happy as long as I can make this grand adventure with you. Your wisdom and resilience are my shelter through the storms and you ignite my heart and my intellect.

I can’t wait to begin my life with you, even though I may have dragged my feet for 12 years, and only wrote my vows last night. I will walk any path with you because we will live life to the fullest and I have never had more fun than the time we spend together. And in conclusion… I love you madly.


Engaged One Year and Counting (Warning: Gratuitous Sentimentality)

Last year on this day I asked Sahtiya to marry me on the High Line in New York City. The proposal was perfectly imperfect, captured on video by my friend Errol Ansalone. The High Line staff at first told me to stay off the grass, but Errol was able to persuade staff to give us a few minutes. We caught Sahtiya by surprise.

Our first official date included salsa dancing on the High Line a short four months earlier. I had discovered the elevated park on my own walks through the city and actually accidentally happened onto the live band and salsa dancing. It made me look pretty amazing though.

Before stopping at the High Line, we went to the stop of the Empire State Building, walked from the ESB to Chelsea Market on the way to the High Line.

After the public proposal, Sahtiya and I stopped to get new shoes at DSW in Midtown Manhattan. Comfortable shoes are crucial for following a mad man intent on making the day memorable, which apparently means walking all over the City.

The shoe shopping slowed us slightly. We arrived at the next surprise stop on time anyway. We shared champagne as a newly engaged couple at The View, a 42nd floor revolving view of the city. For one evening, it was worth the overpriced bottle.


We squeezed in early to our late dinner reservation at Keens Steakhouse (est. 1885!). The mutton was amazing. I knew that this woman loved steak — rare, so I don’t think we could have found a better place that fit our walking reach (walking [flânerie] was such a critical part of our [and my] New York experience).

Since we were on a high and I have great friends in Brooklyn, we went to a party in the borough. My best friend John surprised us with a toast and champagne. It was a great closing to the night and semi-public announcement of our engagement.


We aren’t married yet. The long engagement wasn’t in our original plans, but we’re not great long-term planners. Look for us to try to top our engagement story with our wedding story because we are great at that. Also eating, which is why you can find us at Orzo tonight.